d case of whining anorexic thug

 while waiting, after practice walk


 ditched lunch coz i ddn't like the food

Before I start whining and complaining about my fuckin outfit  on the show, let me just congratulate Glorietta Vibe for breaking the Guinness Book of World Records for the most models on the runway in a show.  I think there were like 2300++ models all in all, which was comprised of professional models, celebrities, bloggers, wannabe beautiful models, wannabe ugly models, fat people, skinny people which am part of (yes you can lovingly add ugly), and the likes.

When it was my turn to walk, Click 5’s former front man was performing on stage and I was fuckin relieved that he was already singin go for gold I think, or else I’ll be walking on the runway to the tune of jenny aka the cock teaser.

Ok, so let’s start the mother fuckin whining.

Now, just a disclaimer, I am not in any way saying that I’m an expert of fashion shows, whatsoever! Am just basing this from the shows I saw, both local and international. Let me point out these 4 words.

<!--[if !supportLists]-->1   <!--[endif]-->Cohesive – in any fashion show, the clothes being showcased should look cohesive. I mean if your collection is about winter, then don’t fuckin throw in some summer clothes. That just doesn’t make sense. How many times do you want Michael Kors to say this? He fuckin do like all the time, I even didn’t count nina, tim and heide.  So redundant it’s beginning to sound retarded.  

<!--[if !supportLists]-->2   <!--[endif]-->Models – the models, somehow should look identical, why because you’re trying to achieve a look, so if you have a variety of looks, obviously it wouldn’t look good. That’s the reason why you have screening, to ensure that the models would be able to represent the clothes well and just like the clothes they are wearing, they would all look the same. Which where make up would come in handy, it is crucial, it helps all the models somehow look identical in spite of color or race.

<!--[if !supportLists]-->3   <!--[endif]-->Fit – depending on what type of clothes and the targeted audience/market you want to lure, this is very important. Take Hedi Slimane for example, his clothes are like for fuckin walkin twigs and bulimics, the rockstar and the crack heads. It’s fuckin insane when during his show he’d suddenly introduce a baggy jeans or an ill-fitting suit in a throng of clothes-so-tight-i-would-faint pieces. Remember number 1 & 2.

<!--[if !supportLists]-->4   <!--[endif]-->Theme – if you want a goth theme, your models should look goth. If it’s sporty, they should look sporty, if it’s whimsical, it should look whimsical, as simple as that.

The Vibe show is in no way like your normal fashion show. It wasn’t like Victorias Secret where you have models with different body types, all clad in bikinis and lookin sexy. It wasn’t like McQueens where you have avant-garde clothes and hi-fashion models or Versace with the buff dudes who resemble gladiators. It’s wrong to compare, period. But remember, since it’s a fashion show, we all know that we’re showcasing something, and that fuckin something are clothes. You’re trying to show your clothes because you want people to buy them. You have beautiful models wearing them because people are so shallow they thought if it looked good on models it’d also look good on them.  Now, like I mentioned, we have different sorts of people modeling the clothes, not all were models, tall, sexy, buff etc, we have ordinary people, like me.

Since we don’t have a regular fitting session days before the show, I know that things can be fucked up. So when I went to the store to see and fit my clothes, my hunch is right. The button down shirt was too big and the shorts was ginormous, it’s like you can put 2 mofos and it’s still big. Ok, not their fault that am a twig! So I was expecting that they’ll change the size, so I went back after an hour or so and they told me they don’t have a smaller size of the shorts that am supposed to wear. This idiot told me “you just really have to wear it, it doesn’t matter if it’s too big, you’re a model”. Am flabbergasted! I mean do you really want me to walk the runway lookin like shit? I mean if it’s me that he wanted to look bad then am sorry, I may look funny but it’s their clothes that am wearing. If I fuckin look funny, they’ll look funny as well. His assistant, bein concern, reiterated to him the fit. The moron kinda listened and handed me over an oversized pants. I mean what a motherfuckin asshole. What can I do, I was there to model, not buy clothes. So the ending is, everybody kinda got the same laid back vibe goin except me, I mean too laid back I looked like I can rob anyone in broad daylight. Didn’t know they’re also gunning for a snoop dog look-a-like kinda look. Come on, we’re in the retail store, they got other stuff that would fit me. Why insist on letting me wear an ill-fitting clothes. Is it ma fault now that am skinny?

Honestly, I would gladly accept it and not fuckin complain, not even a little, if the brand is more for gangsta, skate boarder or rapper coz that’s their target look, It’s fuckin given that we would all look the same.  We would all look like gangsta. I’m not an idiot, I know how it works.

And don’t get me started with the shoes, they didn’t even bother telling me that I’d wear shorts when according to their text they would. They just asked me to bring black shoes.

In the end, you already know that I, mofo, walked the runway. Happy or not, I did my shit. I owned what they fuckin shoved to ma throat. Worked it like it’s the most amazing piece, it deserves a CFD award.

Just to be fair to mossimo, i don't think it's their fault. They didn't know they have a moron and an asshole running their circus.

If you’d ask me if am goin to buy what I wore earlier, the answer is yes! Yes if I wanted to fuckin achieve the anorexic thug look.

fit for a thug... that's my belt by the way

PS. Sorry for not taking a lot of pics, got bored of the long wait, i drained the battery twitting all day.

sunnies - ray ban, shirt - giordano, jeans - custom, watch - nixon, boots - cwc, backpack - operations      
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